Serving looks

Scroll to the bottom for the audio version.

Serve looks and serve people. Word to @ruvxmbo x @estelle_3k  

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Psalm 139: 13-14

As a child I always loved to have my picture taken (my parents’ old devices are full of my selfies). I took fewer and fewer pictures as the awkward tween and teen phase came on, feeling self-conscious about my appearance (as many of us have and continue to struggle with) but also self-conscious about the process of taking pictures because I always feel like passers-by judge when they see me taking pictures – I know in the past that I certainly have, and it’s weird cause like why am I judging someone lol. Of course, I can only speak for myself, but I do suspect that it has something to do with associating taking self-portraits with vanity. To this day, I look around to see if anyone is there before I do up photoshoot. I don’t know who needs to hear this (me; me needs to hear this) but stop that. Take your picture with your chest, and whoever is bothered should keep it pushing.

A throwback Yas feat Pat circa 2013

With the age of Instagram, I started enjoying the process of having my picture taken again but also with the way social media works, and not having safeguarded against it, my standards for posting started to become more and more unachievable. Every few months I’ll purge my Instagram page and archive images that I no longer like. I’m working on it though. But also, I’m getting better at feeling comfortable behind the camera, and that tends to show in the end result, and that makes for pictures that I like for a lot longer.

This is how it gets sometimes

Dedicated content creation comes with regular posting and since my principal medium for audience building is on the photo sharing platform, I’ve had to come up with concepts for new visuals every few weeks and it has been empowering such that I feel confident with the content that I come up with and am happy with the result, but also it forces me to look beyond what I know would perform better on Instagram. That is to say, I know what tends to get most of the attention on my grid and I will have that in mind with the well thought out concepts, but also, sometimes fuck the grid and post what you want to post with the stuff you already have. 

Self-portraiture

For the last few pictures I took, the latest 3 on my grid (as of 17/11/20 for any latecomers), I hid at the back of my house to take them lol. I like to think that I went to the back of the house cause I was keen on using the brown wall – to give all my followers and would-be followers (go follow me) a break from all the orange – but also, I think that when I picked up the tripod from the bedroom and stepped outside the house, I looked around if there was anyone there. I am my most confident self when I am by myself, and so I can be as silly as I want or *attempt* to do up sexy without feeling self-conscious.

Letting go of all stares, even the non-existent ones that I convince myself are there, allows me to do my best work because I don’t overthink, but also because I can take my time to get the shots I want rather than rushing it to make sure no one is looking at me. I’m still working on taking pictures with my chest. I have tried a few times, and sometimes I even get decent ones even though people are around, but ultimately, I think it will have to come down to choosing documentation over insecurity. And also, when the pictures are fire (yes, I mean to toot my own horn), I forget that I was insecure to begin with. 

Another thing I learned is to just have fun with it, and this goes for all the other sections in this blogpost. Use props, have a setup, take yourself seriously enough to know you’re creating and have enough fun with it to allow yourself to create. My favourite shoot so far is probably the one with the books, but I can’t take credit for those, my brother was behind the scenes and with that, let’s move on to the next part.

P.S. Having a tripod and a clicker is very helpful. 

With a photographer

Courtesy of the babes

The people who photograph me regularly include my brother, my sister and my partner for three reasons. 

1. They’re great behind the camera;

2. I don’t feel insecure around them;

3. I feel least guilty about bothering them to take my pictures (lol). 

Courtesy of the sis

When they’re not around and someone else is taking my pictures I usually have to tell them at the beginning that I tend to be awkward in front of the camera and that I will need them to direct me.  Though to be honest I usually have to tell the above three the same thing as well. Asking for direction is really great when you don’t know or are stuck on how to pose, plus, since they’re the ones seeing the output, they can help you look your best in each shot. 

Make sure to be with someone who won’t bring you down though. Ideally, with someone who will gas you up, will get you laughing and who will put you at ease. Good energies make for good photos.

Courtesy of the bro

Using what you’ve got

It’s not every day create content, ngl. Uploading blogposts every other week is a lot of work you know, and life gets busy and sometimes I get lazy, so I scroll through pictures that did not make it to the grid because after I took them, I was not happy enough with them. Sometimes push through that and post anyway. You control the grid, the grid does not control you. 

Some resources and inspiration that will help you be your baddest self on camera:

1) Of course, my girl Amara had to feature on here (and she will come up often because I’m obsessed with her content). Learn a thing or two on her post about getting amazing solo travel photos. 

2) My goal is to reach Ruvimbo level lewks and self-portraiture in this life.

3) Naturally, Steph Yeboah is going to feature on here quite a bit too.

Are you self-conscious taking pictures? Tell me why and how you overcome it to make your fire content in the comments, or (and as always) you also can email me.  Hearing from you is always encouraging and you also never know how it could help someone else. Since the mantra over here is, henceforth, serve looks and serve people, make sure you share your thoughts on how you serve (lewks and people) and share the post with someone you love to encourage them to serve too! 

Thank you for spending this time with me and see you soon. x

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